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  • My 7 year old son seems to be struggling with anxiety and panic...any
    suggestions that can help the little guy?  He is smart and a bit of a thinker,
    which I think is leading him to over-think. He is not one for relaxing and
    winding down which isn't helping him. I have put him in touch with the
    school psychologist and of course we love him to pieces and support him,
    but he seems to lack confidence and has a low self esteem. I have gotten
    him into Karate, which he loves and is very good at, and he enjoys playing
    baseball in the spring. Are there any books, movies, or websites that would
    provide me with some tried and true coping skills for a young child?

    ANSWER-- provided by Allan Gonsher, LIMHP, LSCSW, RPT-S
    Very complicated answers to several issues, let me try to take it apart
    piece by piece. It's more difficult than I think one realizes.

    First, issues of anxiety and panic are serious. Maybe they are separate
    from the other issues, but I would want to know what is causing these
    emotions...(something at school, family dynamics, genetics, etc) This
    cannot be answered in a few words. To simply give him "techniques" to
    deal with his anxiety/panic, without knowing the source might be futile, and
    at best, short lived. More to explore. Slowing him down is a major task. If
    his mind is rushing, maybe his "body" can't relax. If his body is in constant
    motion, slowing his "mind" down could be a huge challenge. Again, further
    investigation is important. If nothing else, relaxation tapes, breathing
    exercises, or monitoring of foods are good beginning steps to "slow" him
    down.

    Issues of self esteem are also complicated. I am not of the belief that
    children have "low self esteem." Instead, I believe children have "parts" of
    their self esteem that are not working as well as others. ALL of our kids
    have strengths and weaknesses. Just because a part is not "working" and
    a kid feels bad about himself, it doesn't necessarily imply that he is "down"
    on himself. It might just mean, for example, he doesn't like school and feels
    stupid in school. You put him on a soccer field and he is the best. You
    enroll him in gymnastics and he "flies." We need to continually find those
    parts of his self-esteem that help him feel good and encourage him to be
    involved with those activities. The converse is also true. We need to find
    his "struggles" and help him get a better grasp of them and minimize these
    frustrations. There is no doubt that kids who feel defeated have their
    sense of self deflated. We, as parents, need to continue to give hugs, give
    words of praise, and have fun with them. After all, the true sense of feeling
    good is about good relationships and feeling a sense of independence
    and support at the same time. Good Luck.
Parenting Questions and Answers