Kids Inc parenting question and answer about bullying

My child is being bullied at school. How do I handle it with my child?
With the school?

ANSWER -- provided by Yeshim Oz, MA, MS, LMHP
In order to answer this question, we need to know what bullying is. According to
Olweus, “Bullying is when someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does
mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time to defend
himself/herself “ (2007). Bullying can take various forms from hitting, punching
(physical) to teasing or name-calling (verbal) or to intimidation using gestures or
social exclusion (emotional). Cyberbullying is another recent form of bullying
through insulting text messages or emails.
Children frequently do not tell their parents that they are bullied because they
are ashamed or afraid of being seen as a “tattler”. If your child tells you about
being bullied, he/she needs your help to stop it. Below are some suggestions for
you on how to handle the situation:

		First off, thank him/her for sharing this problem with you and tell him/her that
		bullying is wrong and not his/her fault and that you are glad he/she had the courage to tell you about it.
		Listen carefully to what your child tells you and learn as much as you can
		about each bullying episode, when and where they happened etc.
		Do not tell your child to ignore the bullying. If your child could ignore it,
		he/she would not have told you about it.
		Ask your child what he/she thinks can be done. Reassure him/her that you
		will figure out what to do about it together.
		Do not encourage physical retaliation. The problem can escalate into
		violence or get your child suspended.
		Check your emotions. At the end, you are a parent and have strong
		protective instincts. But the wisest thing to do is to step back and consider the next steps carefully.
		Contact your child’s teacher, principal or counselor.
		Give factual information about your child’s experience of being bullied.
		Offer your support/cooperation to stop the bullying for the sake of your child
		as well as other students.
		Expect the bullying to stop and talk regularly with your child and with the
		school staff.
		Help your child become more resilient to bullying by helping him/her develop
		talents; teaching him/her safety strategies; helping him/her meet new friends outside of the school etc.

Sources:
1. http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/
2. Olweus, Dan (2007), Bullying Prevention Program, Center City, MN: Hazelden

11414 West Center Road, Suite 220
Omaha, NE 68144
(402) 330-4014
(402) 334-2930 fax

7270 West 98th Terrace, Suite 105
Overland Park, KS 66212
(913) 323-6550

Parenting Questions & Answers - Bullying


	Join Our Mailing List
	�

Serving Children and Families in the greater Omaha area including Bellevue, Gretna, Council Bluffs, Papillion, LaVista, and Fremont;
in the Overland Park - Johnson County, Kansas area including Olathe, Lenexa, Leawood, Shawnee and Kansas City Kansas;
and in the Kansas City, Missouri area including Independence, Blue Springs, and Lee's Summit.
Copyright 2011 Kids Inc.

Question
and Answer
Topics