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What is the deal with social networking? Should I let my child get a
Facebook account?
ANSWER-- provided by Jeremy Wright, LMHP
Every parent hears themselves talk at times and realizes “I sounded just like my
mom!” or “I remember my dad always used to say the same thing to me.” While
we don’t always want to do things the way our parents did, it’s comforting to know
we have a kind of “default” position to fall back on when we don’t know exactly
what to do. With Facebook, however, there
isn’t a parent out there who can use the same rules they had as a kid. What is a
parent to do?
The best advice is: get a Facebook account. Find some friends from high
school, look at some of the games and groups out there. Click on other people’s
profiles and look at how much information you can see. Go to your privacy
settings and look at how much information you are sharing. Most “default”
settings allow “friends of friends” to see your pictures and some other
information. Change the settings to “friends only” whenever possible. Only after
you are comfortable with Facebook for yourself will you want to let your child onto
the site. Once you are ready, you may have some of the following questions:
Facebook account?
ANSWER-- provided by Jeremy Wright, LMHP
Every parent hears themselves talk at times and realizes “I sounded just like my
mom!” or “I remember my dad always used to say the same thing to me.” While
we don’t always want to do things the way our parents did, it’s comforting to know
we have a kind of “default” position to fall back on when we don’t know exactly
what to do. With Facebook, however, there
isn’t a parent out there who can use the same rules they had as a kid. What is a
parent to do?
The best advice is: get a Facebook account. Find some friends from high
school, look at some of the games and groups out there. Click on other people’s
profiles and look at how much information you can see. Go to your privacy
settings and look at how much information you are sharing. Most “default”
settings allow “friends of friends” to see your pictures and some other
information. Change the settings to “friends only” whenever possible. Only after
you are comfortable with Facebook for yourself will you want to let your child onto
the site. Once you are ready, you may have some of the following questions:
- How do I know when my kid is ready for Facebook? If they are asking for a
Facebook account, ask yourself if they already check their own email, or
have their own cell phone. If a kid is mature enough to handle those
things, then they are probably ready for Facebook. If you are not
comfortable with them on Facebook, make sure that their other access to
the web reflects that, too. Keep in mind, many portable gaming devices
have internet access- if you allow a kid to have one of those it will be
difficult to stop them from making a Facebook account. Most parents will
find that sometime in middle school or early high school feels about right. - How should I teach my kid to be safe online? Before you allow them to
have an account, talk with them about your expectations. Every parent
should let their kid know that web posts are forever- there’s no way to
delete all copies of something once it’s out there. That means no posting
questionable pictures or giving out personal information. Make sure the
privacy settings don’t reveal their birthdate or phone number. If someone
doesn’t already know those, it’s none of their business. - How do I monitor all this? If you have decided to allow your kid to have a
Facebook account, you need to have one yourself. Make sure that you
are a Facebook “friend” with your child and keep an eye on their “wall.” If
anyone is posting something there that makes you uncomfortable, keep in
mind your child can “unfriend” the person as well as “block” them. Also,
this is a good way to double check the personal information about your
kid- phone number, birthdate, etc. If you can see it, so can a lot of people. - Should I make them give me their password? Some parents insist that
their child provide them with their login password. If you do this for their
email account, it may be understood that you will do it for Facebook as
well. Always be honest with your kid about this, though. If you are going to
do “spot checks,” let them know at the front end. How you use their
password will depend on your parenting style and the age of the kid
involved. If they have a driver’s license and a car, it may be hard to justify
this much online parental control. - I still need more information! If you’d like more information about kids and
social media, I recommend the site www.commonsensemedia.org. They
have information on movies, music, internet, you name it. And talk with
other parents- you may disagree about the details but it’s always good to
know how community standards are shaping up.
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Parenting Questions & Answers - Facebook
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