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My 8 year old son has become friends with this boy at school that keeps
getting him into trouble. I have been called to the school at least 3 times,
and every time, this boy was involved. How can I make my son
understand that this boy is not a good friend for him without being the
"bad guy"? I don’t want to be one of those parents that picks his
friends, but this kid is bad news. Are there things that I can do to better
my child's responses to peer pressure situations so that he won't keep
"following the crowd" so to speak? I have told him that he needs to
make his own decisions and not care what the other kids say, but you
know how far that goes when it comes to kids and their friends. I'm at a
total loss, please help!
ANSWER-- provided by Allan Gonsher, LIMHP, LSCSW, RPT-S
This is a very tough situation. First, remember until they are in Junior High
School, and even then, you are the parent! You do have the right AND ability to
prevent your child from playing with other kids who do not share your values.
Second, good parenting will help your child make better decisions. She/He needs
to be informed that if she/he gets into additional trouble at school she/he will
receive a "24 hour Black out"......no electronics,no friends, no activities. In most
situations this response, which is quite stern, prevents kids from fooling around in
school. If you are the parent who says "I can't impose such a punishment, than
you have to find something that gets your child's attention. AND, if your the
parent who can't parent, then the problem isn't your child's friends...it's
something in your parenting or the family dynamics. And finally, always encircle
your child with good friends, good values, good activities. Play dates with your
choice of kids, activities that you choose are ways to encourage your kids to
make better choices. Stop trying to convince your child.....show him what you
expect and guide him. Good luck. Let me know how it goes.
getting him into trouble. I have been called to the school at least 3 times,
and every time, this boy was involved. How can I make my son
understand that this boy is not a good friend for him without being the
"bad guy"? I don’t want to be one of those parents that picks his
friends, but this kid is bad news. Are there things that I can do to better
my child's responses to peer pressure situations so that he won't keep
"following the crowd" so to speak? I have told him that he needs to
make his own decisions and not care what the other kids say, but you
know how far that goes when it comes to kids and their friends. I'm at a
total loss, please help!
ANSWER-- provided by Allan Gonsher, LIMHP, LSCSW, RPT-S
This is a very tough situation. First, remember until they are in Junior High
School, and even then, you are the parent! You do have the right AND ability to
prevent your child from playing with other kids who do not share your values.
Second, good parenting will help your child make better decisions. She/He needs
to be informed that if she/he gets into additional trouble at school she/he will
receive a "24 hour Black out"......no electronics,no friends, no activities. In most
situations this response, which is quite stern, prevents kids from fooling around in
school. If you are the parent who says "I can't impose such a punishment, than
you have to find something that gets your child's attention. AND, if your the
parent who can't parent, then the problem isn't your child's friends...it's
something in your parenting or the family dynamics. And finally, always encircle
your child with good friends, good values, good activities. Play dates with your
choice of kids, activities that you choose are ways to encourage your kids to
make better choices. Stop trying to convince your child.....show him what you
expect and guide him. Good luck. Let me know how it goes.
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Parenting Questions & Answers - Peer Pressure
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